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THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: <BR> <BR>1. You believe in Santa Claus <BR> <BR>2. You don't believe in Santa Claus. <BR> <BR>3. You are Santa Claus. <BR> <BR>4. You look like Santa Claus
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Larry's Proverbs
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets
the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of
payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong
lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet
engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all
fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar
of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
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I stole this from a friend's facebook post:
Monday's historical biography thought: Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him - (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) - a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Wasn't that great???
Last edited by bob_2 (04-12-10 8:06 pm)
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