THIS is funny

bob_2 · 09-12-09 1:59 pm

I saw this story told by an old gent on Spectrum: <blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!>quote: We had just sat down to dinner when the door bell rang. I answered the door and a salesman was standing there. He introduced himself and said he was selling cemetary plots. I said: "We don't need any!" He said: "Oh you already have several?" I ssid; " No we just don't need any!" He said: "Everyone needs one!". I said: "We don't, we are going to be raptured!" He looked stunned. I closed the door and went back to dinner. Betty asked; "Why did you say that?" I said, "I bet he has heard every excuse but that one. Now he'll go home and puzzle all night on how to get around that objection. Serves him right for interrupting our dinner." <!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>

bob_2 · 09-12-09 2:11 pm

I saw this story written by an 84 year old gal in Spectrum: <blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!>quote: I am also 84 years old and was raised in the church but can no longer believe in its stated doctrines and for many of the reasons discussed here. Anti-intellectualism is the death of most religious beliefs. Religion is only man's reflection of his current ideas, and nearly all religious beliefs began with very primitive man's attempt at explaining why the world was as it appeared to them. Through the millennia of time, these ideas often adjust and mature as better knowledge about their world becomes known. Just as death, when first observed, demanded an explanation and man devised it. We cannot know if it was in any original plan or not, nor did man, but he searched for some reason and with that premise, wrote his reflections--which vary from the Egyptian and Sumerian cultures, long predating the Hebrews' stories from which they liberally borrowed. To accept that one culture's story is the only possible one is simply to choose one over the others and carries with it no special significance or imprimatur. It is so strange that while we expect, even demand, that SDA schools teach the biblical history of origins, do we also teach the position that the sun revolves around the earth, that there was once talking serpents and animals--all recorded as facts from that same book. Do we teach the cause and cures used for diseases as found in that same book in LLU medical school, and if we do not, what is the criteria for choosing which parts of the Bible are infallible and permanent, while some are only temporary until science makes better determination of causes and develops cures. In attempting to make the Bible the last word on SOME THINGS, and discard it with better scientific evidence on others, we are being most selective and dogmatic in very paradoxical and inconsistent ways. It is too difficult to try to teach critical thinking and fallacies in such an environment, and smart students do not miss the opportunity of pointing out those facts. The trajectory for future biology teachers in SDA schools is an "iffy" one and such graduate students would be wise to carefully consider if that position would jeopardize his very integrity. By being "forced" by administrators to teach biology and earth sciences from an ancient book; all the while the nearby medical school operated by the same church is teaching the very latests scientific opinions, is a fact not lost on discerning faculty or students. The accreditation of LLU medical school was once in jeopardy (1910) and the Flexner report demanded that it maintain the highest standards of the "feeder" schools. How much longer will that be possible if the pre-med students are taught their biological sciences from the Bible textbook. <!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote> It struck me funny because the old gal couldn't tell when the Bible was to be used and when it wasn't. Assuming she was serious. By the by, I have a brother who went through Loma Linda, so I know the truth of the matter. Also, haven't run into too many people that don't believe the Devil or God could make serpents or donkeys appear to talk. Heck, Shrek and all his critter friends can do it, why not Satan and God?

cadge · 09-12-09 3:14 pm

I'd say that it's all a case of cookies and sweet breads clogging the mental faculties. Cadge

elaine · 09-12-09 9:23 pm

Bob, you're the expert, so tell us when the Bible should be used and when it shouldn't.

bob_2 · 09-12-09 10:30 pm

More often than you have suggested it shouldn't, and at 84 years old, you are embarrassing yourself, IMO.

don · 09-12-09 11:03 pm

Someone has to be the adult here. On this forum, Ryan usually reminds people to behave maturely, but I will take the moment. We should stay on the high road of keeping on the topic rather than digging at each other. Afterall, there are some youngsters, you know those under 45, who are reading these posts. <IMG SRC="http://www.atomorrow.net/discus/clipart/happy.gif" ALT=":-)" BORDER=0> Someone needs to start. Perhaps, by ignoring the digs of the other. .

bob_2 · 09-12-09 11:15 pm

Don, when Neal was here you never spoke up when he mocked, why take the high road now??? Ryan allowed it even when I asked him to put a stop to it, now you have some guilt about it?? Come on!!!

don · 09-12-09 11:20 pm

Don, when Neal was here you never spoke up when he mocked, why take the high road now??? Ryan allowed it even when I asked him to put a stop to it, now you have some guilt about it?? Come on!!! I don't claim to be consistent from then to now. But, I still know what a mature behavior pattern is. You do, too. So do David and Elaine. It is always good to get one's self to the high road, whenever. I don't think guilt is my motivation. Though, if it gets me to better, more mature, behavior, guilt ain't so bad. <IMG SRC="http://www.atomorrow.net/discus/clipart/happy.gif" ALT=":-)" BORDER=0> (Message edited by Don on September 12, 2009)

dcb · 09-12-09 11:54 pm

This is my motivation: When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary...... (Message edited by DCB on September 12, 2009)

bob_2 · 09-13-09 12:22 am

David, interesting 16th post. Which high road is that. Let's see if Don is consistent.

dcb · 09-13-09 12:39 am

Bob & Don, Guess Who I think is Whom: <img src="http://www.atomorrow.net/discus/clipart/biggrin.gif" border=0> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBuPQgV8yBM" target=_top>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBuPQgV8yBM</a>

bob_2 · 09-13-09 12:40 am

I think if uncouth and crass definitions are looked up, David should be suspended. Cut it out or a claimait will be formally filed with Ryan, David. Civility is to be the goal here and you are setting it back.

don · 09-13-09 12:42 am

Let's see if Don is consistent. Not sure what there is here, of concern. Bob, there is no way I am saying that you are the only one behaving inappropriately. IMO, it is inappropriate to dig, or even return a dig. In school, the student who best succeeds is the one who can ignore inconsequential injustices. All of us should address persistent bullying, as we ourselves cease to bully. .

bob_2 · 09-13-09 12:43 am

David, this is the second warning, get it on track or we will bring Ryan into the issue.

don · 09-13-09 12:54 am

(Message edited by Don on September 13, 2009)

dcb · 09-13-09 1:20 am

Well. You see it is like this. I witnessed a Principal in a SdA academy bully a student. Until the bully was challenged. By the student. To a contest of the Principal Bully's choosing. After the contest was won by the student, the Principal Bully kicked the student out of school. And all the teacher's looked away except for one. Who offered 20 bucks to the student as this teacher knew that the student's family had sacrificed and didn't have gas money to come get the student. Claude S. And William B. You're one of my heroes.

dcb · 09-13-09 2:04 am

Bob. Were you and Chicken Cheney Roommates? Maybe related to Carlton J? (Message edited by DCB on September 13, 2009)

bob_2 · 09-13-09 11:56 am

David is this post of yours directed at me or Ryan: <a href="http://www.atomorrow.net/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?tpc=22&post=6714#POST6714" target=_top>http://www.atomorrow.net/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?t pc=22&post=6714#POST6714</a> After all it is from this larger document about government: <blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!>quote:When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, -- That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. ...<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote> On the course you are turning this forum, it will go down. Ryan may not recognize it, but people will not continue on with this tripe, they will go elsewhere. Objective of yours, it might just work. I have no desire to put it at that level and will leave before this becomes common place here, unchecked. (Message edited by Bob_2 on September 13, 2009)

cadge · 09-13-09 12:17 pm

YAWN......<img src="http://www.atomorrow.net/discus/clipart/yawn.gif" border=0>, Couldn't we get back on topic? ---------------------- I still think this one to be funny: A couple was having their Sunday morning breakfast when the wife went to get her Sunday church clothes on. When she returned, the husband was still in his bathrobe. "Aren't you going to church this morning?" asked the wife. "No, I'm not going this morning. In fact, I'm not going to church anymore at all." "What do you mean, we've gone to church for years, so why the change? He responded, "Look, there are people at that church who don't like me, and frankly, there are people at that church that I don't like, and I'M NOT GOING!" She answered back, "I'll give you two good reasons why you need to go to church. One, you're 42 years old. Two, you gotta go, you're the preacher."

bob_2 · 10-07-09 3:06 am

Letterman apology brings in big ratings <a href="http://www.variety.com/VR1118009611.html" target=_top>http://www.variety.com/VR1118009611.html</a> How bad do people feel toward David for his indiscretions: <blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!>quote:"I got into the car this morning," he added, "and the navigation lady wasn't speaking to me. Ouch."<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>

bob_2 · 11-02-09 12:20 pm

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one after noon. She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every one seeing it there WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING ! Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.. Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house ... walked home . . .and left it there all night. (You gotta love Frank!)

cadge · 11-09-09 11:27 am

Dumbest Kid !!! A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

don · 11-09-09 1:10 pm

Thanks, Cadge. An interesting example of "thinking outside the box". <IMG SRC="http://www.atomorrow.net/discus/clipart/happy.gif" ALT=":-)" BORDER=0>

cadge · 11-09-09 1:37 pm

Or the moral? We shouldn't be so quick to judge, because things aren't always as they appear.<img src="http://www.atomorrow.net/discus/clipart/happy.gif" border=0>

bob_2 · 11-15-09 9:35 pm

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